


Better this way

by Hepzheba



Series: Better [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, M/M, Mates, Rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-13 08:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/822009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hepzheba/pseuds/Hepzheba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is waiting for his mate, but can that mate really compete with Stiles?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better this way

**Author's Note:**

> [Sarah](http://inwantofabluebox.tumblr.com/) makes this make sense.

Derek grew up hearing stories about werewolves that mated for life. Not all werewolf do, and the one that do are born wolves. Mates have a bond that nothing can sever; it makes them stronger. Derek’s parents weren’t mated in that sense of the word even though they were the best couple he knew. They didn’t have the bond, and Derek doesn’t expect himself to be any different. When he met Kate he thought that maybe she was his mate. He was still too young for the mark to show, the mark that shows that you have a significant other show up in the late teens. Kate was a huge mistake, though. Derek doesn’t believe in love after that, and he trusts no-one but Laura.

 

Sometime when Derek is nineteen, he suddenly feels an itch between his shoulder-blades. He ignores it for a day or two until he catches a glimpse of something black on his back in the bathroom mirror, and asks Laura to come there quick. It’s a swirly black tattoo, a triskelion, a mark. Laura squeals in joy. Derek doesn’t say anything, but he can’t help but feel a glimmer of hope for the first time in years.

 

Then Laura goes back to Beacon Hills and Peter kills her. Derek knows that Laura is dead even before he finds her body, it’s a feeling that he can’t really explain, the same feeling he got when the house burned and he first experienced loss of pack. The hope of one day finding his mate doesn’t make up for losing his sister.

He meets Scott and Stiles, and he can’t really focus on much except keeping all of them alive for just one more day. He does notice how Stiles look at him sometimes, and he notices himself watching Stiles, looking out for him at first and then just looking.

But Derek has a mate somewhere, waiting for him, so he does nothing about the looks Stiles is giving him when he thinks Derek isn’t looking.

 

Stiles asks him out in his senior year. Derek knows it’s a big deal for Stiles and he knows he would be happy with Stiles if he said yes. But Derek has a mate, so he declines. He tells Stiles about the mate, and Stiles seem to understand. He doesn’t stop watching Derek though, but they find themselves in too many life-threatening situations to be awkward. They are soon back to the normal bickering and everything is okay. Not great, but okay.

 

Eventually, after a lot of running and fighting and near-death experiences, Stiles goes off to college and he tells Derek about different people he has meets, people he has been kissing. Stiles is still a virgin – he tells the pack all about it and complains about being the oldest virgin alive. Derek is secretly pleased even though he knows it’s not his business, because he has a mate, and when he finds his mate what he feels for Stiles will pale in comparison. Besides, Stiles doesn’t seem to keep his partners for very long, so Derek isn’t too worried.

 

Stiles comes home to Beacon Hills at least twice a month. He stays at Derek’s house a lot. Sometimes, he ends up sprawled out on Derek’s couch, fast asleep, and Derek pulls a blanket over him and watches over him from his armchair. Sometimes, Stiles ends up in Derek’s bed (it’s not that unusual for the different pack members to sleep in their Alpha’s bed) and Derek pulls him closer when Stiles is sleeping. Derek sleeps the best on those nights, when his face is buried into Stiles’ neck and he can feel Stiles’ even breathing and heartbeat against his chest.

He leaves the bed before Stiles wakes up and Stiles never knows how close Derek had been.

Derek knows that if he gave Stiles even the slightest sign that he wanted the younger man, Stiles would come running to him. Derek often (and maybe too vividly) imagines how it would be to be with Stiles. He imagines how he would kiss Stiles, hold him close and take him apart slowly with hands and lips and tongue.

Stiles deserve better though. He deserves someone’s endless devotion, not just a distraction while Derek waits for someone better (though Derek honestly wonders how anyone could compete with Stiles).

 

Derek is – well, not exactly happy, but he isn’t sad, about the way things are. He’s content, if he had to pick a description. Stiles e-mails him weird descriptions of his lessons and his college friends, and it’s funny how Stiles’ stream of consciousness seems even less edited in writing than in talk. Derek sometimes replies to the e-mails. Derek’s e-mails are shorter, of course, and less detailed. He tells Stiles about things that are going on in town – not the supernatural things, just normal things – he tells Stiles if he’s seen the Sheriff eat any junk food and he tells him about the way Boyd has been trying to woo the new mechanic’s daughter, to Stiles’ great delight (and Boyd’s utter embarrassment should his Beta ever find out that he told anyone). It’s simple, and it’s nice to have someone to just talk about normal things with.

 

Derek knows there is something different the moment Stiles comes into his house that weekend. Stiles is his usual bubbly, happy self, but his smell is slightly off and before Derek even knows it, he has pressed Stiles up against the wall with a hand in his shirt like he did during the first awkward months of knowing each other.

“Dude, what the hell?” Stiles shouts and his heartbeat is quickening.

Derek can smell the soap Stiles has used and the caramel latte he’s been drinking, but there’s also an unknown scent of…

“Werewolf,” Derek growls and turns his red eyes – when the fuck did he shift? – at Stiles. “You smell like another werewolf.”

“Jeez,” Stiles wheezes and pushes Derek away. Derek lets him and backs away, shifting back to human. It’s been long since he shifted unconsciously.

“Sorry,” he says awkwardly. Derek doesn’t really know how to explain his outburst.

“Happy to see you, too, dude,” Stiles pats Derek’s shoulder and his heartbeat is starting to return to normal. “If you have to get all physical, I would like it better to be bro-hugs instead of the old push-Stiles-up-against-at-wall-thing you had going on in High School. It kind of hurts, you know.”

“I’m sorry,” Derek says. He means it and he feels even more ashamed. He’s glad that Stiles came there alone so his Betas hadn’t seen their Alpha losing control like that – and when exactly did Derek trust Stiles so much to let him see Derek freaking out, but not his own werewolves?

“No worries.”

Stiles drops his jacket on the floor and Derek picks it up and hangs it up, before he trails after Stiles to the kitchen where Stiles is rummaging around in his fridge.

“Don’t you eat when I’m not around?” He doesn’t wait for Derek to reply. “And no, the squirrels are not enough food for a big wolf like you. You need vegetables, too, you know. To grow and… Nevermind, you don’t need to grow. You’re fine the way you are.”

Stiles’ eyes flitter over Derek’s chest in appreciation and Derek doesn’t preen at that look.

“I don’t eat squirrels,” Derek states, “not enough meat and way too much fur. It gets stuck in between my teeth.”

Stiles turns towards him, mouth opened and brown eyes wide before he laughs out loud and thumps Derek on the shoulder.

“God, man, you had me for like a sec there!” he laughs and Derek can’t really keep the grin off his face. “I was like, ‘I knew Scott was lying when he said you guys didn’t chase rabbits in the woods’.”

“He did,” Derek admits with a straight face, “we do chase rabbits. And other rodents. Just not squirrels. Their tails are too fluffy.”

The way Stiles laughs and holds his stomach makes something in Derek flutter, and he can’t keep his eyes off the other man’s face.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done to Derek Hale?” Stiles asks. Derek scowls at him which, for some reason, makes Stiles laugh again. Stiles’ laugh might be the best sound in the world.

“No, you’re right. You’re not an imposter. No-one can glare like that but you,” Stiles pats his cheek and turns towards the takeaway menus on the kitchen island.

“Pizza or thai?” he asks, “How many are coming?”

Derek shrugs. “Boyd has a date, but the rest will come, I guess.”

Stiles wolf-whistles.

“So he’s on a date, huh? I’m so proud of him. Little Vernon finally getting a date.”

“Don’t let him hear you call him that. He might break your legs.”

“You’ll protect me, right, big bad Alpha wolf?”

Derek rolls his eyes but can’t really help the fond smile as Stiles turns his attention to the pizza menu. Derek steps closer to him to read over his shoulder, even though he always orders a meat lover’s, when he catches another whiff of that unknown werewolf on Stiles.

“Are you going to tell me who the other werewolf is, or do I have to torture it out of you?” Derek asks in a neutral tone even though he wants to get the name out of Stiles as soon as possible and then rip the bastard’s head off.

“Adam,” Stiles answers, his heartbeat quickening and his temperature rising slightly. Derek frowns at him. “He’s… uh… kind of my boyfriend… I think.”

Derek ignores his heart that might just have skipped a beat at those words.

“Is it serious?” he asks. Stiles has never called one of his earlier flirts boyfriend, and Derek has not once caught their smell on Stiles.

“It might be,” Stiles says, not really meeting Derek’s eyes. “I really like him, and he’s a werewolf so he knows about crazy stuff. Well, not _really_ crazy stuff. He’s from Texas, and he’s only met a witch once, and she was really old and kind and didn’t try to sacrifice him or anything. But yeah, he knows about stuff and… well, I think it could be serious, you know.”

Derek nods. He can’t act well enough to manage a smile.

“I’m happy for you,” he lies, and it’s lucky they’re alone, or the other wolves would call him out on the lie. He really wishes it wasn’t a lie, though. He wants to be happy for Stiles. He knows this is for the best.

Stiles smiles at him, as if happy that his Alpha gave him permission to date this other wolf, and Derek guesses he just did. Even though he wants to rip this Adam’s head off. Unless Adam is a martial artist, Derek, who’s fought an alpha pack and kanimas and is an Alpha himself, would have no problem taking on the other wolf in a fight. But he won’t, because Stiles isn’t his. There’s someone else out there waiting for Derek, and Derek should just wait patiently, too, even though it sucks.

 

That night when Stiles curls up in Derek’s bed, showered and only smelling like Stiles and Doritos and pack, Derek doesn’t curl up beside him like usual. Instead, he rips off his shirt and runs out into the woods, half-shifted, tearing through the underbrush, and not caring about the scratches in his skin. He runs and runs, and doesn’t care about the accumulating tears in his flesh. The hurt makes it a bit better, and Derek doesn’t really want to heal because he doesn’t want to be reminded of the things a werewolf _can’t_ heal from.

He stumbles on a root and tumbles down into the dirt. He’s panting, and there’s something wet on his cheeks. He thinks it might be blood until he reaches up his hand to wipe it away and sees that it’s not red, but transparent and tastes like salt.

Derek doesn’t know how to make it stop. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. There will be another part in this 'verse. It won't hurt. Much. 
> 
> Come join [me on tumblr.](http://hepzheba.tumblr.com/)


End file.
